Channel Todd Late Night News Edition

State of Emergency: Empty
My food bowl is almost empty, my food bowl is almost empty!!!!!

empty food bowl

BeFunky_toddlebees.jpg

May I serve you?

Top Story in Business: Fine Dining
At the Longcroft Luxury Cat Motel in England, they have a fine dining restaurant for us finicky felines. They serve Salmon, Fresh Cod Steak, and Simply King Prawns, just to name a few of their menu items. They also have a Sunday Brunch that includes ham, free-range chicken and shrimp. While I must travel to Britain just to stay at this wondrous hotel, fine dining for cats isn’t left to just vacation time anymore. There’s a new trend out there to buy and feed cats (and dogs) gourmet meals. People all over the country are seeking out better foods for their pets, such as organic, all-natural, made in the US, and human-grade foods (and what do you mean you haven’t been feeding us human-grade foods this whole time). Humans will pay big bucks for these types of foods, as well, even while those same humans will resort to eating take-out, fast food, or pizza … again!

Add to that, that even us finicky cats – and yes, we are very finicky eaters, so keep on buying us that expensive food – even have our own restaurants that cater just to us (out with those human-only restaurants, in with the cat-only restaurants). One of the cat-only restaurants is called Duncan’s Fine Dining where they serve items such as Toona Tortellini, Fresh Nip Salad, and Pouncie Bread Man. finewineYou can even top it off with a fine wine such as the ’95 Chateau Domainecoon Majeur.

Furthermore, there are even celebrity chefs cooking for cats now, such as the famous Simon Rimmer. He’s a wonderful guy, working with top-notch veterinarians to cook up some fancy food that’s not only super tasty, but good for our sensitive digestive systems. As a bonus, I’ve included the video below where you can watch the wonderful Mr. Simon Rimmer cook up a tasty, gourmet dinner for  cats. So please watch, enjoy, and cook on, humans. Cook on! 

Top Story in Style: Cat-Fashionable Humans

fashionWe love this shirt. Sleek, colorful and fashionably fitted, it can look good on a number of different body types or in any type of laundry basket (our favorite place for shirts are those laundry baskets that have just been loaded up from a nice, warm dryer). This top is called the Festival Cats Top and can be found on the Animal Rescue site for the low price of $28.95. Us cats will enjoy seeing you humans in this shirt as much as you’ll enjoy wearing it.

Top Story in Health: How Cats can Benefit Humans
Check this out! Cats can help heal humans. While that comes as no surprise to us kitties, you humans may not know all of this. So, as the flu season winds down, remember to keep us kitties nearby to help keep you healthy and happy!
catfacts

Now for your commercial break
 

Top Story in Entertainment: Comic Break
It’s snowy out there … at least in some parts of the country (ok, maybe all parts of the country except California). So let this comic warm you up.
comic

Top Story in Sports: Kitten Bowl vs. Puppy Bowl
We’re excited for February 2nd. It’s going to be a big game out there. We’re pulling for our favorite team to win – The Great and Mighty Kittens!!!! Yay. Who’s going to help me root them on?? Everyone??? Ok!!! Game night, big party at my house. Don’t forget to bring your own catnip, milk and tuna. If you bring extra for me and the boys, we’ll give you a front row seat during game time!


Top Story in Opinion: I used to be a Fire Hazard
BeFunky_todders.jpgI used to live in a studio apartment in Alameda, Ca. It was on the top floor of a secure, 3-story building that had been built in the 1920s. It was a fabulous apartment, mostly because I knew how to get the door open as long as it wasn’t locked. Eventually, I even figured out how to undo the lock, so mom started using the chain when she was home, always worrying that I’d still be able to get the door open enough to squeak out. So, she started placing piles of stuff in front of the door, thinking I’d never be able to get the door open. And it worked.

But when she was gone, at work, I’d still work at getting that door open. One day, mom came home to find the door ajar, thinking that somehow, someone had gotten into the building and broken into the apartment. When I came running up the stairs after her to welcome her home, she frowned at me, but was whole-heartedly relieved to know we hadn’t actually been robbed. And then told me that under no circumstance was I supposed to open the door for strangers. So when she locked herself out of the building a month later, I refused to let her in, telling her there was no way I could have known it was her. Payback’s an empty food bowl, mom!

Thank you for reading! Have a good night!

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Not Your 5 O’Clock News

BreakingNewsToday’s News Stories brought to you by Channel Todd News and the Channel Todd News Team.

Cat looking through a narrow doorway

State of Emergency: The door is closing, the door is closing! Somebody, open it quick! I’ve lost my opposable thumbs and can’t get out!

Top Story from Channel Todd News: Missing Cali

caliThere’s a kitty still missing in Canyon Country, CA (if you know where that is, keep an eye out for this beauty!). She’s been missing since 12/12/13. If you live in the area and see this tuxedo girl, please contact us here at Channel Todd News (either by commenting on this newsfeed, messaging me on facebook, or emailing me at toddfrumpus at yahoo dot com). Or you can go to the Rally for Cali facebook page for direct contact information.

Top Story in Business: Sammey’s Cat Houses
sammyscathouse
Sammey’s Cat Houses is an up-and-coming business that builds hand-crafted cat homes, like log cabins, all for the pleasure of us cats. They were even in a contest that would have given them a commercial spot during the Super Bowl this year. Unfortunately, they didn’t make it into the top 4 and, therefore, won’t be seen during Super Bowl Sunday. But maybe you could help them out by visiting their website and buying a custom-built tree house for your own kitty. Or, if you live in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, you could always visit their showroom and buy something directly from them.

Top Story in Style: Germans Joining Awesome “Cat-Focused Homes” Club
Goldtatze1
Hauspanther, an online magazine for “design-conscious cat people”, posted an article about a new German organization called Goldtatze. Goldtatze has joined the cat-house craze that Japan is well known for by building furniture that turns a human-centric home into a cat-centric home. With great walkways that hang from the ceiling to a central cat tree leading up to the walkways to beautiful, high window seats that are awesome for bird-watching, Goldtatze will soon become a cat-focused force to be reckoned with. Watch out Japan. Here comes Goldtatze!

Top Story in Health: PetMD
Have you heard of WebMD where you can go and check out what your symptoms may mean for your health? Did you know that there’s a WebMD for cats? It’s called the PetMD Symptom Checker. It can help you determine if you should take kitty in to the veterinary immediately, or if kitty can wait for a scheduled appointment. But, as with any medical issue, when in doubt, ask your veterinarian. And always keep an eye on kitty; you know how we can be mildly OCD about things, and PetMD might just help us build up our hypochondriac tendencies. You can visit the PetMD Symptom Checker site here.

Now for your commercial break

Top Story in Entertainment: Not Really for the Birds
There’s a new (ok, not so new – it was released in 2000) Pixar movie out called For the Birds, but I think this movie is really for the cats. It must be really good because other orange tabbies are truly focused on the greatness that is For the Birds. While it runs a bit long at 3 minutes and 26 seconds, it does seem to have the ability to capture and hold attention of us cats. You can see one cat’s review in the video below. Let us know what you think by leaving comments below.

Top Story in Sports: Our Favorite Team
Are you ready for the playoffs? Based in California, we here at Channel Todd News are hoping the Kitten Bowl will be a big hit on Super Bowl Sunday. We’re rooting for the kittens to win this one. It’s about time, anyway, since Puppy Bowl has been around for a while. We’re aware that Puppy Bowl has since shared some time with kittens, but the Hallmark Channel will be focusing just on kittens this year. We applaud them.

Top Story in Opinion: Mousebreath
mousebreathThere’s a magazine out there called Mousebreath. We adore the magazine and hope we can get as popular as they are. http://mousebreath.com/ They have great articles and provide a lot of information to us cats. It’s a magazine by cats for cats. Who can beat that? I’d love to be hired by them, but I don’t even know how to get started. I’m a fine reporter, but not a great writer. Hey, maybe they need a reporter? I guess I’ll head on over and find out.

Top Stories in Events: Out and About
avaAva Gardner, the cat, is celebrating her 12th birthday on February 22. To join in her celebration, you can visit her Facebook page here.

From January 25th through February 2nd, there’s the (hopefully first annual) Cat Art Show in Los Angeles. We’re very excited about this and are looking forward to giving it rave reviews. For more information, visit the website here.

And finally, here are the remaining dates for the Internet Cat Video Festival and Tour in the 2013/2014 season:
March 2014, SXSW, Austin, TX
Spring 2014, Walker Art Center, Minneapolis, MN
May 2014: Great Wall of Oakland, Oakland, CA
June 2014: Hollywood Theater, Portland, OR
For more information, visit their website here.